NOBEL PIECE PRIZE

I'm tired of waiting around for my agent to ring. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

INDIAN TIME LORDS

In India time is it's own lord and deadlines are organic. Yes means no, no means yes, yesterday means tomorrow and 'ek minute' ('just a minute') could mean an hour, or a week. What all this means is that my life is a mess and I don't know if I can get the hem on my sari stitched today.

BE ENLIGHTENED

The guys at Innocence have just uploaded some pics from Bodhgaya, India so you can get the latest goss on Enlightenment (TM) at shellyinnocence.com

MOB'S YOUR UNCLE

The mob mentality is big in Bodhgaya and I've been warned that when things get a bit out of hand one should smile, wave and briskly move on. But I prefer to savour the moment.

ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD

It’s hard work being a tourist attraction, but the big event of the day was putting on my sari. Have you ever tried to wear one? It's a complicated task involving a team of three or four people, one to ravel, another to pleat and pin, another to tuck and another (preferably a doting grandmother) to say how wonderful you look. But this ordeal is nothing compared to the buying of a sari. That’s another matter altogether which involves an entire family - father, mother, grandparents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts and family pets. Many times I’ve seen four generations huddled around a teenage girl seated under a tower of fabric in a sari shop. There’s the weave, the colour, the pattern, the embroidery, the sequins, the occasion, the family, oh, and the girl to consider, and absolutely everyone, including the shopkeepers and passing cows must have a say in the matter. So while it may look like I am fluttering carelessly around Bodhgaya in this glittering gold, pink and orange sari, it’s the labour of love of an entire Indian family that's holding me together. I'll tell you about the shoes and bindi's another time.

LIVE TO AIRWAVES

Today I was interviewed by Sahara TV, the same company that runs Sahara Airlines. Multi-tasking is big here - one shop may sell stamps plus sofas, or facials and STD calls, so why not run an airline and a TV station? By the way, the TV interviewer was particularly nosey, asking me about some very personal issues, but I soon put him straight with a few personal questions of my own. Hmmph.

SMS SHELLY FOR ENLIGHTENMENT

It’s here in Bodhgaya that Buddha received his message of enlightenment. Wonder what it was? Curious to know. 'Floss everyday' or maybe 'Always tie your loin cloth with a double knot.' Now the locals here are enjoying simliar revelations as they receive their very own SMS messages of enlightenment from ME! My mobile has been running hot day and night. All they do is SMS me and I SMS them back instantly with my own message of peace and love. My billboards in town feature my number, but you can SMS me too in India on 0061 400 953 163. Everyone is into it, so fifty million enlightened Indian’s can’t be wrong.

YIHAR BIHAR!

I can’t believe it! Here I am in Bodhgaya, Bihar! Everyone is so beautiful and ever so friendly. But the competition is stiff, Buddha is bigger than Tom Cruise and even more popular than Bollywood's Aishwara Rai.

UP

My two billboards went up yesterday. Happiness and Joy. It's all for an expositon here in Bodh Gaya, Bihar called Buddha Enlightened. It’s hard to believe I’m larger than life.

HEY NAMESTE!

Just landed in Bihar and swamped with flowers. I'm not sure if I should be saying Nameste or Nameskar when I say hello and goodbye or just wink and smile. Anyone know?

CULTURE: I LOVE IT

If there is one thing I love it's jumping onto a flight headed for Bihar, India. Not that I've been to Bihar before, but the town in the center of the state is Bodhgaya, famous for it's culture, and as you all know I just love culture! Bodhgaya is the place for messages of enlightenment, so I am packing my mobile phone and hoping for a good reception. I just don't know what to wear.

LOVE TRIANGLE

Arranged marriage or love marriage. Are they the same? I can't decide. Dowry or no dowry? Passion or profile? What to do? What will the family think?

FOOTPRINTS IN YOUR HEART

Some say that many people will walk in and out of your life and only a few will leave footprints in your heart; but not everyone wears shoes in India and it has the biggest heart.

A REFLECTION

Today as I was putting on my lippy in the rear vison mirror of my car I realised that life isn't measured by how many breaths we take, but how many breaths we take away.

SHELLY ON MARRIAGE

Just been to an amazing wedding ceremony. In India marriage is a desirable thing and careers are put on hold for it. Yes, you can quote me.

ANIMAL FAT

In India vegetarianism is the in thing so for the time being I won't be eating chocolate mousse, chocolate rabbits or any white meat (Lindt).

DUCK GETS LEAD

This duck may get the lead role in the opening scene of my new movie.

SELL OUT

Sorry, we've sold out of Shellywood T.Shirts. Mr Jappati, Delhi's super taxi driver, snatched up the last one. Some people say there's more to life than fashion, but 14 million Delhities can't be wrong.

MY BIGGEST FAN

Here's Dilepe, one of my biggest fans! And what a cute photo! I just love snaps and the pics on this blog are the work of some of the world's snapiest photographers including Rahul Dutta (snaps all the Miss India's), Carol Hummel (snaps anything that moves), Olivia Robinson (snaps on the move), Cath Barcan (snaps movers and shakers), Peter Burke (snaps and thinks later), not forgetting Rob Burton, Shauna, Sakir and Anne Leibovitz...the list is endless. Without their wonderful insights you would not have the pleasure of looking at me right now. Cheese! Oh, I mean, paneer!

TIME OUT

I wont be answering my fan mail this weekend as I'm taking time out.

BOLLYWOOD DREAMING

I'm at Film City in Mumbai during the filming of Janneman. As you can see I was sitting right next to Akshay Kumar until my manager, Peter Burke, insisted that I take the photo. And how about my Salman Khan snap? How cool is that! He disappeared with his girlfriend on a motor bike moments after the shot. I'm hoping a little shoulder rubbing may go a long way toward launching my film career as Film City is the heart of Bollywood and Bollywood is the heart of me.

JUST FOR THE RECORD

Despite the misleading tabloid stories, I attended the Global Arts Village opening night in Delhi with my manager, Peter Burke, not with Salman Khan nor Akshay Kumar. AJTAK TV has the footage to prove it. Hmmph!

BEHIND THE SCENES

Here are some behind the scenes pics of the Shellywood launch in Delhi. I just love photos! Don't you?

CHUNK THE ELEPHANT

The gorgeous Lakshmi! Which reminds me, if you have a big problem, it's always good to chunk the elephant.

SHELLY'S ELEPHANT

Shelly was a filmstar, She starred at Bollywood, She gave promises of happiness And stood for all that's good All the people loved her, This Goddess of the Screen. Some likened her to Parvati, Lord Shiva's lovely queen. And now upon her special day An elephant she'd ride, So all her fans could wish her well As she became a bride. Shelly's elephant was Lakshmi And with care she did prepare, To grace the scene as best she could For the honoured guest she'd bear. For if elephants dream, as I'm sure they do, They'd dream of days like this; To carry a beautiful lady Towards her wedding kiss. Oh, how the crowd will cheer and wave; The Yogis they will chant, To see their favourite filmstar, Shelly! on her elephant. With baggy skin all freshly scrubbed And painted with designs, Adorned with flower garlands And baubles made to shine, This great beast was made ready And to herald the event, She trumpeted, announcing, "I am Shelly's elephant!" And in her gentle eyes you'd see A glistening tear of pride At being the elephant chosen To carry the Tinseltown bride.

I JUST LOVE POEMS!

Usually I keep my fan poems private, but I can't resist sharing one with you in my next blog. It's written by Shauna, a Scottish girl at the Shellywood launch in Delhi.

A DREAM COME TRUE!

I can't believe it! Shellywood is now launched in New Delhi, hitting the streets of Gitorni this week in a big way, thanks to Lakshmi the elephant. Billboards, autographs, photos, garlands, wild fans, traffic jams, rickshaw prangs, hand waving and blowing kisses. It is such hard work being a Bollywood star, but it's worth it.

MUM

Visited mum in Mumbai today. Here she is checking out shellyinnocence.com Some say she will be the spitting image of me. She gets younger every day. Love you Mumsy.

LOVE™ – ANYONE CAN BUY IT

I don't know what the fuss is about Valentines Day. It's over rated and overblown. Love™ – anyone can buy it!

MAGIC PAINTERS

Here are the painters Sitaram, Devinder, Vijay Kumar and Vishwar Jeet at work on the Shellywood billboards in Daraganj, Delhi. When it comes to creating Bollywood heroines, these guys are magicians.

BESIDE MYSELF

I have to confess, I'm absolutely beside myself. Just take a look at my new billboards. Shellywood - where dreams come true. That's me beside Raj. And that's Sitaram's hand at work.

HANDS UP FOR RETAIL THERAPY

After meeting my Guru I had to chill so I headed out for retail therapy and had my hands painted with henna. Can you guess which are mine? Feel so much better.

MY GURU

Today I met a Guru who lives in a wooden box. Our exchange was brief but incredibly deep. I really shouldn't tell you, but he asked me what I wanted in life and I said that I wanted Everything (TM). He replied, "Miss Shelly, let me tell you something. Life is short. You can't have everything. Focus on one thing". Hmmm.

TAJ MALL

The Taj Mall is awesome but the shopping here is a bit ordinary. I've had so many pics taken that I feel like a roo in headlights. That's me in the orange sari to the left of the guy in the centre.

I LOVE DELHI

I love Delhi! The shopping is great and everyone is so helpful. There is a "walla" for every situation. Today I met a man carrying a big, hot kettle on the street and he made me a lovely cup of tea. He was a chai-walla. Then there was a dye-walla I met when buying a yellow sari that I desperately needed in a deeper shade. "No problem, madam!" A little man appeared from nowhere, snatched my sari and shot off into the caverns of Old Delhi. Within twenty minutes he returned with my sari a sunkissed yellow. You can see it in this pic at Agra Fort in Jaipur. Then there are laundry-wallas. Never in my life have I seen such beautifully pressed laundry! The attention to detail, the pleats, the creases, the folds, the perfectly postioned sequins... I plan to bring a few wallas home with me (if I can get them through customs).

TRANSIT ZONE

Just love KL. But there is so much more to life than shopping so I am now on route to Delhi. Talk soon.

INFLIGHT ENTERTAINMENT

nflight entertainment is SO exciting. There are 87channels and there's something for everyone. I'm jogging around the cabin every 12 mins to prevent deep thigh thrombosis - got to keep in shape for Bollywood, but the flight attendants seem to get in the way with those rambling trolleys. Must go...we're about to take off.

UP UP UP

Hello everyone! Here I am in Koala Lumpor. The wind on the tarmac may have messed with my hair and the inflight service rejigged my internal timezones, but the rest of me has landed in Malaysia and I intend to make the most of this thrilling stopover. Can't wait to hit the shopping plazas.

SEWING SILVER BEADS

I'm off to Mumbai in a few weeks and people tell me the streets are glittered with glass beads. I can't wait. I've been working 24-7 on my latest moves and sewing silver beads onto my saris

LIVE SIMULCAST

New product launch coming up folks! Put Thursday October 6 in your diaries for the Sydney launch of REVELATION™ – wake up to yourself. Rupert Myer will be cutting the ribbon and Gael Newton from the National Gallery of Australia has her hand up to slice the cake. My opening speech is to be via live simulcast – it’s so much more hygienic.

DANCING WITH THE STARS

Tania Zeeta has left Dancing with the Stars and I’m being headhunted for a stint on the show with some upstart called Alasdair Foster from Sydney. Austrian glass beads (the new type of sequins) are just SO heavy. Decisions, decisions.

BAD RECEPTION

Thank you to the lovely lady who helped me when I fell off my roller blades. I really must stop using the mobile phone on the St. Kilda Espanade. The reception was terrible.

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

It was a hard decision to make. Sleepless nights. Tossing, turning, trembling. But I have relinquished the Murdoch Prize and given it to another promising contestant, Andrew Hazewinkle. Just between you and me, I’m an Aquarian and can’t bear all the attention that comes with such an accolade.

I'VE WON THE MURDOCH PRIZE

I've won the MURDOCH PRIZE! The VCA Gallery rang me today with the news that I've won the big one. Tickled pink and all flustered.

FORESIGHT™ - PROJECT YOURSELF

I couldn't help myself. Today I phoned Jason Smith, the Director at the NGV at Fed Square about his selection for the Keith and Elisabeth Murdoch Travelling Fellowship, offering my assistance, professional advice and emotional support. As a finalist and one of two in the running for the grand $50,000 prize, the suspense has been gobbling me up, so I followed up the call with another, leaving a brief profile of myself and my bank details on the Murdoch answering machine. It never hurts to be organised and a little promotion goes a long way. Oh, thanks for all your emails and congratulations!

MISSED CALLS

It seems a bit unusual but I keep getting missed calls on my mobile. Must be the organisers of the Keith and Elisabeth Murdoch Prize. I wonder what's brewing? They tell me Susan Fereday and Jason Smith from the National Gallery of Victoria at ritzy Federation Scare are the judges.

I AM NOT A FASHION CRISIS

My manager tells me an Innocence™ billboard will feature at the Keith and Elisabeth Murdoch Exhibition at the Victorian College of the Arts Gallery at Southbank in April 2005. Apparently I'm one of the finalists and if selected, will head overseas for a year!!!! Oh dear, what to wear?

EB

Saw my shrink. Feel like the whole world is inside out and upside down. Feel like I do when I'm trying to stuff my doona back into it's cover and the corners don't meet. Feel like I've just stepped off an old 78 turntable. Who am I and where am I and why am I? Can one person REALLY have so much EB (emotional baggage)? Hope he gets it together soon.

RECYCLE

Dear reader, I’m not sure where this is leading but I thought I’d share it ith you. Today I saw my shrink and I told him how I was tired of my life and how things never seem to change. He just stared at me beady-eyed and said 'Shelly – you’re STUCK!' Then I thought 'Heck! I’m STUCK!' and almost burst into tears. Stuck with who I am and everything I have and everything I don't have and nothing will EVER change! Stuck in recycle hell and trapped FOREVER! I wanted to run out of the room. After a minute of gaping silence and staring at the forest poster on the wall, he qualified it by saying 'That’s how you feel, but not how it has to be'. I can’t tell you how glad I was that I stayed to hear the end bit. Delay is a great way to avoid change or risk. Comfort zones are just so…ugh...comfortable! Being an ubermodel is such a drag. I spend all my time getting ready for photo shoots. I’d love a day where I can just be Myself™. It’s been a big one. I think I'll have a bubble bath!

PHOTOSHOP CROWSFEET

My sister Kelly came over yesterday and said 'Shelly, you must try Botox!' Kelly is such a fad-ster! First hip enhancement, then lip-o-suction, now botox. I told her about Photoshop and how it did wonders for my crows feet, so we turned on my laptop and Kelly gave it a try. It took 10 years off!

BUTTERFLY DREAMS

I can't believe it! It's a dream come true. I've butterflies in my belly after hearing the news that in 2005 I'm off to Delhi. Just privately, I was head hunted for a brand new Bollywood advertising campaign but of course it's all under wraps and saris until I have a word to the directors at Shellywood – my new home away from home!

CURRY BATH

Another strange dream. I found myself swimming and splashing in a huge bowl of curry! I'll keep you posted.

DOORSTEP DVD

Last night I dreamt a Bollywood DVD landed on my doorstep.